Confused

There you came smiling with no plans but sure that you didn’t want to intimate too much, you did and now you regret it “not that u didn’t have fun”u said but it sounds so serious so true so mean that u regret it… U’re scared of a word, I can understand that I am too but I didn’t know it was tht scary, it’s just a word and nothing u can never leave. You look at me like I’m a cute doll made of glass just about to break itself into pieces, I’m not. I know u were upset and worried about what happened and about ur job but I cannot forget what u said, it didn’t hurt that much but it was disappointing Maybe I just need to grow up and realize that nothing is what u think it will be but it’s like I’ll never learn that kind of things happen to me all the time I think that smthing is gonna be special but in the end it’s not, it’s just frustrating and it was so nice till I made that mistake till WE made tht mistake, u got cross and worried and upset so u said a lot of things u regreted late but the harm was already done, now I’m gonna let you choose, I’m not crying not tht I’m gonna do it just do smthing u’r unable to do, u have a lack of confidence and tht makes u get confused and make u be confusing, So I’m gonna do it, it may break ur heart it’s gonna be ur own fault u’r gonna choose and no one is gonna force you. U’ll have to decide whether u want to be my friend or wanna try smthing more, ur choice I cannot do it anymore I cannot choose when you smtimes want to and other don’t.Just decide I’ll give you time 3 days or even more I just need u to think make list of advantages and disadvantages, think what u like and dislike, the possibilities, …..but do it, I will accept ur decision I won’t cry and not get cross I’ll just let u face the concecuancies as u told me I’ll take my choices and u’ll take urs.
What made me come this far?? The way u say goodbye, u kissed me a lot during the 3 days u were here and the night u got cross u realized u made a mistake and touched my hands and arms but when I was saying good bye when I was about to forget everything u just acted like u were made of ice, just two kisses in my cheek u wanted me to do the do same so I did, when I wanted to hug u, u was unable to do it and when I wanted u to take my hand u didn’t want to so I said fine that’s what u want u’ll have it. I’m just worried about ur work I’m worried u loose it, I was worried and a little hurt about what u told me but now I realize I shouldn’t , I’ve always got through all the things tht happened in my life why shouldn’t I do the same this time, you choose I’ll be ur friend anyway I won’t be resentful and that’s all I wanted to say.