I want to close my eyes.

Everything around me is falling,everybody around me is crying but that can't hurt me yet, this is like a nightmare u can't see it at first it looks like a dream till it goes nasty.And things haven't gone nasty yet but they will get and soon.Noone gave us an expecific time period for her to go but they said "soon". And that soon things will get really scary.
What I fear the most about things are the concecuences of those events and this concecuences are going to be huge. A whole family broken, my cousin will be lost for ever,don't ask me why but I can see it, my granny will die at least inside.They are both too weak,they'll crash hands down.
She was poor at the end, I guess when u spend ur life being feel sympathy for u start believing u are really a pitiful person.She was never important for her dad and I couldn't see any love in my uncle's eyes but I may be wrong.Her mum was always feeling sorry for her coz she wasn't as whealth as her brothers, but we all should have feel sorry for all the hate she grew inside, she did it herself but not on purpose.She hated tht stupid city but she never left it,she regreted have left work and blame everybody for it,she ate everything tht happened.My cousin, my uncle's illness but in the end she was the one giving up, it must have been too much.
Everybody cries coz she's leaving but noone cries coz she's feeling lost and she's scared, she never talks but tht doesn't mean she's not feeling it.
I'll cry for her fears coz they are mine too, she grow to become smthing I couldn't recognise and I don't want to remember her like that; tired, sad, knowing what's gonna happen. I'll collapse, I'll throw it all away, I'll go as far as I could and I'll cry my eyes out.
But why is this happening?? she's now the center of this family and this center is broken, what's left to do is leave her go she can't stay here anymore as it say the song "butterfly fly away.Flap ur wings now u can't stay" I don't really think she wants to.
I would like to have a discussion with all that ppl that is against euthanasia, I'll do whatever to let her rest as soon as she feels like,she has the right to choose, god has nothing to do here and never will.